


tweet tweet

by theappleppielifestyle



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, happy birthday bitty!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 06:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3886216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theappleppielifestyle/pseuds/theappleppielifestyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Birthday fic based on the recent tweets on Bitty's twitter.</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Fer, aka chartyourowncourse, who was my beta for this fic :)

Bitty wakes up reluctantly when his phone starts ringing, and there’s a few seconds as he pulls himself out of his dream where he remembers, right, sentient hockey pucks don’t exist so there definitely isn’t one chasing him across the rink. Also, he isn’t in the rink, he’s wrapped in his usual cocoon of blankets in his room in the Haus.

He’s still struggling out of his blankets when his flailing hand finally reaches the phone. He doesn’t bother looking at the screen, just pushes ‘accept’ and puts it to his ear.

“H’llo, this is Eric-”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DICKY,” his mama screams, making him startle away from the phone and then grin when he remembers he does, in fact, turn 20 today.

“Thanks, mama!”

“Oh, you sound sleepy. Did I wake you up?”

“Lil’ bit,” Bitty admits. He’s already starting to bounce on the spot where he’s sitting, like he does every birthday when he wakes up. He checks his phone and raises his eyebrows. “Gosh, I’m surprised I managed to sleep this long! Usually the boys are thumping down the halls like a herd of antelope by now.”

“They probably let you sleep in, since you’re the House’s birthday boy today!”

“It’s Haus, mama,” Bitty corrects her, mid-yawn. It’s a weird feeling, yawning and grinning at the same time, but he manages it.

She sighs, and Bitty smiles as he imagines her putting her hand to her chest like she always does when she sighs like that. “I can’t believe my little boy is twenty years old!”

“I can’t either!” Bitty admits, finally managing to free his legs from the confines of the blankets. “I feel like I should- do taxes, or something. I should get a dog! Wait, we aren’t allowed pets in the Haus. Maybe a fish? Do adults have fish? I feel like adults have pets to prove they’re responsible. I don’t really want a fish, though, I want something I can cuddle and I know I used to try to cuddle fish but that never worked out well, I can’t believe my first grade teacher used to let me do that, what was she thinking? Oooh, mama, am I able to rent a car now?”

“No, honey, that’s 24. Why do you want to rent a car?”

“I don’t, but it’d be lovely knowing I could!” Bitty stretches, yawns again, then falls back on his bed. He’s moving throughout this, tapping his feet and his fingers, unable to sit still with all the excitement thrumming through him. He makes a loud, high-pitched noise into the phone and his mama echoes it back, and for a few seconds they just squeak at each other.

There’s a heavy knock at the door that continues as Bitty says, “Mama, I have to go, someone’s at the door. I’ll call you after lunch, love you!”

“Love you, Dicky!”

Bitty hangs up and calls, “One second, I have to put on pants!”

“PANTS ARE FOR THE WEAK,” Lardo yells. There’s a pause. Then: “Fine. Put on pants and get breakfast with me, grandpa.”

Bitty wriggles his way into the birthday clothes he planned last night- they aren’t anything fancy, but Bitty was vibrating with birthday excitement last night and putting out an outfit seemed like a way to burn some of the energy down. It hadn’t worked.

Lardo knocks the whole way through this, and Bitty opens the door to see her holding a party horn, which she blows in his face the second she sees him. “Happy birthday, Bits!”

He hugs her, and she squeezes him on the tail end of it- he loves her hugs, she’s his favourite hugger in the world except for maybe his mama. No, definitely his mama. His mama and then Lardo are his two favourite huggers, and his mama pulls up in front, but only barely.

Lardo slings her arm over his shoulder as they leave the Haus, blowing on the party horn at random intervals, very close to Bitty’s ear. She’s wearing purple lipstick, and Bitty compliments her on it as they walk to get food.

She grins at him, flicks a tongue out over her lips. “Thought I’d try it. Had it in my drawers for, what, five years? And makeup goes off.”

“Really?”

“Fuck yeah, really annoying.” She smacks her lips. “Might wear it more often, I’m def liking it.”

Bitty winces his way through a laugh when she blows the party horn in his ear again and then hollers, “Bits, god! You’re so ooooold!”

“I knoooow,” Bitty sighs, leaning his head on her shoulder. “I’m ancient! I could never imagine myself anywhere over sixteen, honestly. But now I’m twenty! And it’s my BIRTHDAY!”

He does a little victory birthday dance as they walk, shaking his butt until Lardo bumps their hips together and he nearly trips over.

-

They end up getting burritos, running to get a picnic bench before anyone else can take it, and then they eat breakfast, some more messily than others. By the time Lardo’s finished, her purple lipstick is no more, rubbed off after too many collisions with her breakfast burrito.

She burps into the party horn, which produces a very odd sound, and then starts applying her purple lipstick again as Bitty neatly finishes his burrito.

He whips out his phone, fires off a few tweets before saying how he needs to go back and get his darn notes for his final.

Lardo’s head whips around to him like a dog who just heard his food can being opened. “What? Why?”

“…For my final,” Bitty repeats, balancing on the edge of his seat.

“Right,” Lardo nods. “Or you could not do that. Yeah, def don’t do that.”

“Why not,” Bitty says, and at the same moment it hits him, the way Lardo is forcing casual, the excitement bubbling under his skin. “Lardo, why can’t I go back to the Haus?”

Lardo starts picking at her nails, also purple. “No reason. What do the cards look like, I can text Jack to get them.”

“Mm-hmmmmm,” Bitty says, and Lardo narrows her eyes at his smug smile.

“What?”

“You’re a dork,” she tells him, and bumps their feet together under the table.

“I’m the BIRTHDAY dork,” Bitty corrects her, and she laughs.

Bitty fires off another tweet.

-

Lardo refuses to give an inch on what the Haus is planning, or even that there’s a plan, and Jack is no better when he shows up with Bitty’s cards.

“Thank you,” Bitty says, taking them and shoving them in his jacket pocket before turning back to Jack. “What are y’all planning?”

Jack blinks, pocketing his hands. “Planning?”

“I know y’all are planning something for my birthday.” Bitty tries for cool, suave, but he’s never been particularly good at either. It doesn’t seem to work on Jack, but it never does.

Jack cocks his head, brows furrowing. “It’s your birthday?”

Bitty’s smile shrinks and Jack’s face does this weird little twitching thing, looking over to Lardo beseechingly.

“Yeah, it’s Bits’ b-day today,” Lardo says loudly, and then picks up the birthday horn to blow on it shrilly. “The big 2-0.”

“Good to know,” Jack says. He hesitates, and then holds out a hand. “Happy birthday, Bittle.”

Lardo mutters, “Oh my god,” rolling her eyes fondly as Bitty shakes Jack’s hand.

-

Jack sticks around to help Bitty study, and he and Lardo quiz Bitty until he has to go in to the final, which is as dismal as he expected it to be. He’d usually be wiped by the end of it, but he’s still coasting on his birthday excitement, which caused him to giggle randomly twice during the exam and resulted in a teacher going through his bag to check for drugs.

He startles when he walks outside, and then his mouth twitches upwards. “Random. Holster.”

“Bitty,” they say in unison, faking casual even worse than Bitty.

“I’m not going back to the Haus, don’t worry.”

“What?” Holster does this thing where he tries to look both disinterested and surprised and instead just looks constipated. “We’re here to grab lunch with you!”

“Yeah,” Random nods, jostling Holster’s elbow with his. “Birthday lunch. The best kind of lunch.”

Bitty stares at them both. “Let’s have lunch at the Haus!”

Holster scoffs. “Yeah. Nice try, Bitty.”

Bitty sighs, but lets them lead him away to Kotter, where Holster and Random proceed to sweat and lean against walls and make the most awkward small chat Bitty’s ever had to suffer through.

“Y’all aren’t subtle,” he tells them, and they both squirm under his gaze.

They’re all relieved when they get to hand Bitty off to Nursey and Chowder, who looks more abashed than guilty when he tells Bitty he can’t reveal anything.

Bitty pouts. He looks at Farmer, and is opening his mouth just as Farmer says, “Sorry, Bitty. I can’t tell you anything, either.”

Bitty is in the middle of a tweet when someone behind him says, “Happy birthday, Bitty. Phone, please.”

Bitty looks over his shoulder. “Hey, Derek.”

“Hi, Bitty,” Derek says, smiling pleasantly. “Phone.”

Bitty blinks at him. “Excuse me?”

“One more tweet,” Derek says. “Then I’m taking your phone. In a friendly, non-threatening manner.”

“I’m feelin’ a little bit threatened, Derek.”

“Last tweet, Bitty. Make it count.”

Bitty sighs, types out a final tweet and hands his phone off to Derek, who starts typing as Bitty yelps.

“Um, excuse me?”

“Relax,” Derek grins. “I’ve been instructed to tweet your next experience.”

“What is my next experience?”

Chowder sidles up to Bitty, nudges him gently. “Uh, time to go back to the Haus, Bitty!”

Bitty looks at him, then at Derek. He points a finger in Derek’s direction. “Don’t wreck my reputation, Derek.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Derek says, thumbs moving over the screen.

-

“I knew you were up to something,” Bitty says as they lead him back to the Haus. “What, no blindfold? I feel cheated. There’s always a blindfold involved in surprise parties.”

“What the hell kind of surprise parties have you been to, man,” Derek says, eyes on the screen as he walks. Bitty winces, resists the urge to take his phone and coo apologies to it for letting someone else on it.

Bitty looks over the Haus as they approach it- nothing looks new. “Y’all know you could’ve decorated outside, too. It’s not like I’m gonna be shocked.”

“Shhh,” Derek tells him, and Bitty sighs. “Bitty, Chowder, smile.”

Bitty turns to see Derek aiming the phone at him, and he smiles nervously as the camera flashes. Chowder pats his shoulder as they walk in the house, and Bitty aims a less flimsy smile at him.

The halls are empty, and Bitty finds he’s holding his breath until he makes it into the kitchen, where everyone beams at him and tries not to look suspicious and mostly fails.

Bitty laughs. “Okay, y’all are in the kitchen and I haven’t baked anything. It’s a surprise party, I get it. Have half of you even been in here when I wasn’t serving up something?”

His teammates continue to look weird and shifty and excited, and Bitty looks from Shitty to Jack to Lardo expectantly.

“Aren’t y’all gonna yell surprise? Because if you were, the moment’s kind of passed-”

“SURPRISE,” everyone screams, and then Holster and Lardo and Jack are moving out of the way of something that Bitty didn’t see before, and Bitty’s mouth is open to ask what the heck is going on here before his eyes absorb what he’s seeing.

At first he just stares, and as it sinks in, he presses a hand over his mouth.

“Aw, he’s crying,” Shitty yells amongst the cheers, and it’s only when Bitty tries to breathe and gasps instead that he realizes he is indeed crying at the sight of the new oven.

“I can’t believe y’all,” Bitty starts, and then can’t get through it. “How’d y’all- when did y’all- what did y’all do with-”

Then he lapses into tiny, embarrassing sobs as Shitty puts an arm around his shoulder and Lardo puts her arm on top of Shitty’s, and Bitty finds himself walking around hugging everyone he can get his hands on as drinks get passed around and the talking gets louder.

“I gotta,” he blurts, and hiccups a sob. “Ohmygawd I need to bake something right this second!”

“You have to stop crying first,” someone says, and Bitty turns to see Jack smiling down at him.

Bitty hiccups and lets out the most embarrassing noise he’s made to date, and flings his arms around Jack’s neck.

Jack huffs, but then his hands are coming to rest on Bitty’s back as Bitty clings to him.

“K-knew you didn’t forget my birthday, you jerk,” Bitty gasps, and Jack lets out the warmest laugh Bitty’s ever heard him make.

Bitty lets go of him, scrubs at his eyes with the hand that isn’t still pressing against Jack’s chest. “Oh, no, I cried on you!”

Jack glances down at his shirt and then shrugs. “I don’t mind.” He’s holding himself stiffer than he was when they hugged, strangely, looking like he wants to say something but can’t get the words out. Finally, he says, “Hey, uh- I was wondering, since it’s your birthday and all, would you like to dance? With me?”

Bitty sniffs, blinks up at him with puffy eyes. “You don’t dance,” he says before he can stop himself.

Jack stiffens further at that, eyes shifting away from him. “Right. Nevermind, forget I-”

“No!” Bitty clutches his shirt as Jack starts to back away, and Jack stops. “No, I only meant- yes, a dance would be nice, I just, I didn’t know you danced.”

“I don’t, as a rule,” Jack says slowly, moving towards him again. “But. It’s your birthday, so.”

He starts looking awkward again, so Bitty decides to save them both by yelling throatily, “SOMEONE TURN ON BEYONCE FOR THE BIRTHDAY BOY.”

Jack shakes with laughter under Bitty’s hand. “Why was I expecting anything different?”

“Aw, shut up and dance with me, Jack,” Bitty says.

Jack pauses as ‘Halo’ comes on, and Bitty expects Jack to start doing an awful version of the sprinkler, or something, expects anything but what happens: Jack puts his hands on Bitty’s shoulders, then moves one towards his waist and starts dancing awkwardly.

 _Well, it’s a day for surprises_ , Bitty thinks distantly, and lets Jack’s hands on his back sway him back and forth, getting smoother as the seconds pass and more people start to dance around them.

“Lots of people,” Jack comments.

“Yeah, what’d y’all even do, invite the whole campus?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t in charge of inviting people.”

“What were you in charge of?”

Jack shrugs. “I mostly stayed out of everyone’s way.” His throat clicks, Bitty wouldn’t be able to hear it above the music but he’s close enough that he can hear it, barely. “I’ve heard this song. You sing it sometimes.”

“It’s my jam.”

“All Beyonce songs are your jam.”

“Beyonce is _everyone’s_ jam, Jack.”

“If you say so,” Jack says, smiling, and Bitty chuckles, rests his head against Jack’s chest.

**Author's Note:**

> here's my [tumblr](http://theappleppielifestyle.tumblr.com/).


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